Ok, restarting the Compass MAP Created For Purpose by Candice Smithyman. This is such a great way to sample a Compass MAP (Monthly Action Plan).  Will you join me? Create a profile now on http://www.mylifecompass.com/revivalcoaching

and click on MAPS to listen to the daily audios and daily journaling challenge! 

"Create For A Purpose shows you the proof that God created you to serve a role in His plans, and that He intends for you to prosper and succeed in that role. See through the illusion of loss, and recognize that what you perceive as mistakes, failures and flaws are actually part of what makes you perfect for the work He has set for you. God has promised to provide everything you need to serve His purpose and that you cannot fail if you call on His guidance."

Then in just 10 minutes a day you can begin to transform your life. Check back in here and share what you are learning, or comment on our facebook page www.facebook.com/RevivalLifeCoaching.  There is an intentional purpose for your life. What is keeping you from believing you have a purpose in being here? What is preventing you from living your purpose?

Create a profile now on http://www.mylifecompass.com/revivalcoaching  Join me on this journey!

Easter is a time of Revival, Rebirth, Renewal!  This is a time to start fresh!  I challenge you to honor this time, identify some overdue needs of yours.  Create some new support & accountability in your life.  Identify an area of change you can take on gently.  Celebrities are not the only ones deserving self-care!  Who does your calendar belong to?  If it is not you, I challenge you to make that a goal for the next 3 months!  If you are a Sacramento Mom, register for my Reviving Mommy Workshop today!  Or create your profile on My Life Compass and get involved!

In preparation for Easter, I heard a talk yesterday concerning Jesus and events leading up to his return to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday.  Just so you know now, this is not a ‘religious’ article.  However, I am adamantly against avoiding spiritual subjects in fear of offending anyone!  Spiritual or not, other offended will always be offended, so I don’t cater that direction.  We will delve into needs around faith another time, but not today. 

In this talk the passage from John 6:15 was quoted: "When Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone."   They wanted to forcibly make him a king!  All the scriptural reasons associated with this are not what I want to address.  Why do we, as humans, need royalty?  Way back before Jesus, in the Old Testament, we see Israel asking for a king!  We came to America for a list of specifics but it led to our freedom from monarchy.  Yet I feel we make celebrities of our politicians and royalty of our celebrities, making them quasi kings & queens like Angelina Jolie here, in her role as Queen Cleopatra. Why?

Ultimately I believe, it is because we as humans need guidance, safety & to know we belong.  We need to identify with a group, to feel we ‘relate’.  We don’t want to be the only ones in charge.  We need to identify with others and feel someone else is on our side.  So we ‘knight’ anyone who shows up commanding attention, electing them royalty.  I don’t think the need it’s self is bad, I think it is just our human nature,  However I hope we can learn pick our royalty wisely, and satisfy this need to belong and identify in a healthy way.

So again we are back to my common topic!  Support!  And I’ll tie in one more key thread, accountability.  We need to belong.  So we identify as ‘moms’ or ‘gym rats’ or ‘conservatives’ or ‘students’ or ‘fans’.  But I feel where we seek we really need support, not to limit ourselves in roles and labels. 

Who have you elected royalty in your life? If you wanted to take if from a faith perspective, what are your idols?  We must stop randomly filling the holes in our lives and identify the real needs.  I challenge any mom in the Sacramento area to register today for my Reviving Mommy Workshop.  If you have a friend who will benefit, contact me for a gift certificate.  Join a Compass coaching group; find additional accountability in the participation forums and blogs on a wide variety of topics.  Compass is a group a women passionate about changing their lives!  You owe it to yourself to dive in.

I can’t wait to see you!  Cheers!  I believe in you, you just have to believe and then step out on faith.

I think we begin to feel guilty for wanting happiness. Do we honestly want our children to remember us as overly serious or discouraged? Where did that come from? I think it comes from losing sight of what is important to us and who we really are. I believe we forget who we are. I think it is supposed to be part of our ‘coming of age’ but something, maybe cultural, is disconnecting, delaying or defeating this piece of our maturity. We should let who we are, what we are & what we believe, really shine through, and make no apologies for it. You see the American Dream is that we could have ‘it all’. But I think somehow we lost our own definition of ‘all’. Our ‘all’ is our ‘happy’. But my ‘all’ might not be anything like your ‘all’. I am not going to throw out ideas on where or who’s all we may have taken on. But it seems we took our ‘happy’ and crammed it in box, sealed it and labeled it ‘do not open until perfect’. We seem to have confused ‘happy’ with other things or people that do not make us ‘happy’ So you have the career, the house, the marriage, kids… you have it all but you feel guilty because you aren’t ‘happy’. I am not telling you that any one of those things are wrong or bad at all. But there is something in how we define ‘having it all’ that needs some overhaul. If you haven’t read Remodel Your Reality by Kimberly Fulchure she describes this place as "Fleetingly, I wondered if I might be having a nervous breakdown. A small voice in my head mused that I might get a good night’s sleep if I did. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea… I continued to speed down the freeway. I was tired- exhausted really. I didn’t have the energy to do the right thing, at least not right then." Does that sound familiar? Do you have a similar picture or story in your mind? Life is not a to-do list. Happiness is not a list of tasks! I dare suggest that either you, or someone in your life is applying pressure to be perfect in all your roles. So what are your day’s priorities? I’ll list a few here: kids dressed, beds made, to school on time with healthy lunches work out (must look 10 years younger than you are) pick up kids run errands make healthy snacks laundry washed, folded neatly and put away dinner planned/started homework done with kids, filed, backpack neat/ready house clean, vacuumed, orderly kids bathed kids well-behaved Kid’s rooms orderly sports/activities finances organized Oh yes and you are working a full-time career either inside or outside of the home, right? Above is just the daily, throw in doctor’s appointments and everything else unexpected… Did I mention it had to be done PERFECT? I think many of us have ‘happy’ close by. Others may need some serious changes. But I bet it is closer than you think. The issue is focus and priorities. If we look at all the roles we are attempting to fill, is it any wonder none of them are ‘perfect’? First, we are human and created imperfect! If you read my post on ‘Emotional Potholes’ I explain that we are imperfect because we are created to need each other, to need relationship. If we were perfect people, we would have no purpose, we would be self-contained. Our imperfects allow us to reach out to others to ask for and offer help. When we try to do it all, we will never attain ‘happy’. Through Compass Coaching we help women identify the areas of their lives that need adjustment, set goals and then equip them to truly create change with long support. Define your priorities, define the people that matter most in your life, including yourself. Are they getting what they need? Define what is important (priorities) and let go of the rest. Watch this video entitled Letting go of the rest sounds too easy. It will take support (as mentioned above). Begin the road to creating your new ‘happy’ with a FREE profile at My Life Compass. Here you can join groups, blog, make friends, receive coaching and study the 100+ Monthly Action Plans (MAPS) to help you remodel your ‘happy’. Email me below and ask about the next upcoming Reviving Mommy Self Care Workshop. I am a trained facilitator for Renee Trudeau’s ‘Personal Renewal Groups’. With support we can all find our ‘happy’ together! I am excited for you.

I see some recurring themes in my life right now and the lives of those around me. These are the need for support, the need to offer service to others, the ability or inability to ask for help and likewise to accept help, the need to be authentic & the role of accountability. These skills are essential in how we survive & if we thrive! Tomorrow there is a Life Make Over webinar/conference call and I want you on it! Do you want to survive or thrive? Do you want real relationships? Do you want control of your weight or finances?

Wednesday, Feb 1st
5:30-6:30PM PDT/8:30-9:30PM EDT
Register Now!

I often hear questions such as ‘once you have kids you have to give up your own interests right?’ when discussing the Reviving Mommy Mother’s Self Care Workshop. I love the metaphor of the stewardess providing ‘safety instructions’. In NOMOTC’s winter issue that just arrived uses this metaphor in a great little article on page 15: ‘…If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting others.” Is this selfish? Is it because your life is more valuable? This would be acting in your own interest right? No! It is so we do not pass out before we can help those dependent on us!

This is what coaching is all about. This is what self-care is all about. We must have air, food, shelter and water to survive physically. I believe we are born with an internal Compass that needs to thrive. To thrive we need to first care for ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Then we need to care for others and allow others to care for us.

Check out this amazing video on serving others: Our Hands His Hands, Our Hearts His Heart

I think we all need to do more than survive. Our purpose here is not to survive! What do we want for others in our lives? Are we showing our children that it is not only OK but necessary to be able to ask for and accept help? Coaching is a very different approach than consulting and counseling. Coaching focuses on where you are right now and what is required to move you forward to achieve your future targets. You will gain awareness and insights about where you continually employ self-defeating patterns and where you stop yourself short of your own success. coach can help you to discover what ‘winning in life’ really means to you and have you win at bigger games. People hire a coach because they want more than what they have. They may be spinning their wheels and don’t know where to go next. They want to grow. They want things to be easier. They are tired of struggling alone and getting less than desired results.

How does ‘survive & thrive’ tie in with life coaching? Coaching is a tool. Like the mom putting on her oxygen mask before she ‘assists others’ she is equipping herself so she can be calm and effective for those that depend on her. Coaching helps us identify where we want to be and how to get there. The support of a coaching, good friends and an accountability partner help you to focus on your goals, the steps involved, and the vision of what it will take to get there. All of these tools are available through Compass!

Space is limited on the Virtual Webinar Party. Register today, right now, it is a small piece of time to invest in yourself. Wednesday, Feb 1st
5:30-6:30PM PDT/8:30-9:30PM EDT
Register Now!

Then go to http://www.mylifecompass.com/revivalcoaching and register as a free client. Check out the groups and MAPS, you can sample all the MAPS. Then call or email me after the call Wednesday and we can chat about how I can help you get the tools to thrive!

I just began taking yoga at Radiant Yoga. If you have a location near you I highly recommend it! Another great way to connect with your community, care for yourself and meet new people would be to participate in yoga or meditation classes. In one of my early classes, the instructor said that yoga is the study of contrasts. I passionately relate with this idea!
Here on Thursday we talked about how we need people, how we are created for relationship and how we deeply need to begin creating & allowing support in our lives. We must intentionally grow and nurture meaningful relationships. To embrace this idea of contrasts I thought today we would discuss solitude. I would love to know your gut response when you hear to word ‘solitude’. Shoot me a comment below!

Solo time is essential.

This is a personal topic for me. Although most would label me an extrovert, I have a deep personal need for alone time. I once heard someone say that the terms ‘introvert & extrovert’ are not determined by how comfortable you are with people, or if we are okay being alone, but it is determined by how you ‘recharge’ your energy. By that definition, I am definitely an introvert. Psychology Today has an interesting article addressing this concept Are You Introvert or Extrovert. It is in their section ‘Solitude vs. Loneliness’. Under this section title, it states the following quote: Loneliness is what gnaws at us when connections fail. But solo time is essential, can help us think clearly, breathe calmly, and even feel content.

In contrast again, I am in that category of people who are always ‘plugged in’ and over stimulated. I admit it! I read all the time on my smart phone! I read blogs, articles, books & posts. Or I listen to training, classes and various audio books and files. When they created these smart phone devices, they had the modern mom in mind. Why? We don’t multi task for convenience! We multi task out of necessity! But what is the cost? For me it is a desperate need for silence. By four o’clock, I hunger peace and thirst for complete silence.

Introvert or extrovert I firmly believe we all need alone time. This seems to be a rare commodity. Anthony Storr in his book Solitude: A return to the Self states “Some of the most profound and healing psychological experiences individuals encounter take place internally, and are distantly related, if at all, to interaction with other human beings.” Although there are many things I disagree with in this book, he makes numerous excellent observations on the need for alone time and introspection. I believe one of our modern challenges is that with no solitude, or cultural encouragement to take time to ourselves, I think many reach adulthood with no clear idea of who they are or what they want.

Can you answer the question ‘What are my heart’s greatest desires’? Please do so below as a comment. Inspire others.

There is a certain state of rest and relaxation that I only attain in silent alone time. I must have that quite, silent, stillness refill me, to pour into those I love. I do not want to be a reclusive artsy. The inner silence & peace for me is tied to a chunk of time twice a day for me, God and usually, but not always, writing. Unfortunately, this need is sometimes misunderstood by those close to us. For some a practice such as yoga may partially or completely satisfy this hunger. However, I am convinced that whether introvert or extrovert there is a state of rest and inner silence that can only be achieved when we can look inward and upward.

How do you feel about asking for help?

I recently realized I have used pride the keep people at a distance for a very long time.  Because of this I have felt a lack of support despite being surrounded by amazing people.  My explanation isn’t unusual, though not often spoken.  I felt my flaws created too much vulnerability, revealed too much imperfection, too much brokenness to invest in building real relationship.  Brokenness means someone somewhere has let us down and we aren’t going to allow that again.   If I let people close and they saw my cracks some epic scene of ET doctors might swoop in and begin working on me. But the thing is pride, that lack of vulnerability hurts us, and it hurts others.  If we refuse to let others see our personal needs, weaknesses, our faults and hurts; we project a mask (See The Compass MAP ‘Taking Off Our Masks’) or an unauthentic self- a lie. What is the cost of this deception?  

With no weeknesses or faults or hurts visable, no one offers help. We isolate ourselves and become an island.  No one can see that we need help.  Perhaps even worse is the example this sets for others, including our children. The example is that we can ‘do everything ourselves’, ‘don’t need help, don’t want help’.  So when those we care about are watching us, they compare themselves to us, accepting the lie as truth, and they wonder why they feel  they are struggling when we are doing ‘just fine’.  We aren’t fine and that hit me hard.  My dishonesty, my lie,  is hurting others.  I thought I was being strong… So we are isolated, lonely, stressed, insecure & disconnected.  But wait, there is more!  Continuing this way indefinitely leads us to feelings of despair and failure.  We know there is something wrong, something missing but if we have lived this way most of our lives, I don’t think we know what it is we are missing. 

But guess what?  I am going to tell you what is missing!  At least a really big chunk of it.  People!  We need others.  We all need support & we all need help!  We were created for relationship, real transparent relationship.  We are living in a culture where we accept a lack of support as normal, and this is a relatively new event. Historically, well into the 20th century extended family lived together. Multiple generations lived in the same home.  Support was a way of life.  Everyone was needed on the farm and business and land remained in the family.  With this support available the adults were involved in the community with church, charity and social organizations and events.  These created a support network, everyone knew everyone.  If someone needed help, everyone knew!  Maybe there wasn’t much room for pride, and maybe that was OK.  We were born in relationship with family, relationship with extended family, relationship with community. We knew no different. Now it is the opposite.

Today if we are not intentionally seeking role models  and relationships we will find ourselves disconnected from encouraging parenting support, marriage support & career support.  These are vital relationships in our lives suffering from our disconnection.  When the balance or speed suddenly becomes unmanageable in life and we need help, will there be anyone there?  Will anyone offer help if they don’t see us fall?  This sad picture can be prevented if we have friends and mentors who create a strong support network & provide us with honest feedback. We know the cost.  What are the benefits to creating a strong personal support system? In reading chapter 3 of  The Mother’s Guide To Self Renewal Renee states that the  benefits of having a support network are  effectiveness, follow through on commitments/achieving goals, resilence through challenges, overall health & wellness, less stress, more adjusted children…. who ask for help when needed!

What do you need to do to create a strong support network?

Develop existing friendships, get some one on one time with friends. Reach out to someone who has offered help in the past (they may have known things were not all peachy!). Seek mentoring through church or Compass Coaching. Join a support group like Mothers Of Preschoolers or Sierra Moms (local to Sacramento) or National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (EDMOMS if you’re in Sacramento). This month starting on March 25th we’re launching our Reviving Mommy ‘Self Renewal Workshop’.  Click the link  for info and registration details on this monthly mini-retreat for moms! Take action, commit to one or more of these  steps toward your support network today!   

By choosing a purpose driven career in Personal Coaching, or Life Coaching.  You can feel confident you are making a positive impact everyday helping others create change and take steps for themselves.  Today, right now, take this step, take action and check out The Compass School of Coaching.

“Compass has re-ignited my passion for coaching and has blessed me with a sisterhood that I never thought I would have thanks to my business partners and coaching clients.” Lisa Fredette

Living daily with a boring job feels draining, discouraging and can leave you feeling hopelessly trapped!  I have noticed people ages 35-42, people you would know, are having mini-nervous breakdowns (if not full blown).  Are you looking at a lifetime spent without inspiration or purpose?  We were all created for purpose!  Any person inspired to invest in themselves (YOU know there is MORE!) and their community should be aroused to take action for themselves and those they care for.

“What an amazing opportunity, I get to help people reach their full potential as I fulfill my desire to assist others. In addition, I get paid to do it!!!” Cheryl Glover

However, equipping others to create change in their lives might not be enough… Yes I know, you are asking yourself how much $$$ money Life Coaches earn.  You have kids, a mortgage, car payments, medical bills!  Purpose is nice but…  let’s cut to the facts.  I found an interesting article from Forbes Magazine Surprising Six-Figure Jobs.  Here are a few quotes:

“For anyone interested in white collar work, consider one of the fastest growing career paths: the “professional coach.” No, not the sports kind (who easily make six and often seven figure incomes), but those business and life coaches who try to provide a confidence lift to struggling entrepreneurs and aspiring novelists. About 20% of the 10,000 registered coaches earn six figure incomes, according to estimates from industry veterans.”

—–

“I get to live my passion for impacting women’s lives, build wealth, and work with an amazing community. How fantastic is that???” Nancy  Grant

Moreover, this year is expected to be the the first year since 2009 to see a rise in the demand for coaching!  Almost eight out of ten executive coaches are forecasting an increase in their business, according to the 2011 Coaches’ Earnings Report survey by Sherpa Coaching LLC.  It focuses on mainly (70%) business coaches.  Though Sherpa admits their data pool is a ‘relatively small sample’ (700 people responded to this survey, providing a margin of error of less than 4%) their data reports $48,000 – $110,000 average earnings for  2011 with the influencing factors being:

1) Training and Certification 

2) Length of time in business increased earnings (but interestingly with fewer clients)

3) Formal education unrelated to coaching

4) Continuing self-study and training after certification

“Out of all the businesses and jobs or Careers that I have embarked upon, Compass School of Coaching was absolutely the best thing that I have gotten involved in next to COMPASS, itself!” Crystal Pearson

Do you feel ‘inspired, empowered & connected’?  We are created for purpose and we need to find and honor that purpose.   Personally, I do not believe we can be happy without living our purpose.  I challenge you to do two things, easy and fast.  Do you know you need to consider a career change?  Maybe you know you aren’t where you want to be, where you can be, and you love helping others.  People come to you to talk relationships, finances, health and wellness, life balance or you are always reading and sharing the last great self-help or self-care book.  Go now to The Compass School Of Coaching and claim the most comprehensive, accelerated, and cost-effective path to professional coach training.  That is number one!

“Compass has helped me reignite my own purpose! I am honoring myself as I guide women on their journey to discover their greatness – already within.” Michelle Lambert

Second!  Whatever your career path, create your FREE profile at My Life Compass immediately after that so you can start your Life Makeover and take steps towards peace, balance & purpose. You’ll start setting goals, receive encouragement and find inspiration in our incredible interactive community (Personal Development Network) of professional Life Balance, Career & Finance, Health & Wellness, Relationship or Spiritual Coaches, coaching groups & blogs.

Thanks for spending a few moments with me.  I know every second of your life is valuable.   Check back here often as this site develops.  It will get prettier, I promise.

I believe in you!  You are awesome!  Thanks for joining The Revival! Discover Your Compass